Despair

[3Abdahu]

My sheikh, may Allah reward him, says; "Despair is haram". My question is if you are in this state...how do you come out?

[Sehadet]

Just so I understand your question right. What do you mean by despair? Despair in believing in Allah taala(i.e. tawhid)? Or something else?

[Dean]

Bismiallah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim

First of all feeling negative and non- constructive emotions, such as despair, grieve, sorrow and so forth, are something we all experience. However, they are emotions with no useful purpose and therefore they are something we should work hard to get rid of.

To do that, we have to make sure we have a strong and firm iman in Allah subhanahu wa taa’la.
With a strong iman we will increase the amount of righteous deeds which encounters both good and bad situations. In these situations we should all display thankfulness (in the good situations) and patience (in the bad situations) this will lead us to feeling joy and happiness as a result of our iman.

Allah subhanahu wa taa’la said in our Holy Quran:
“And be patient. Surely Allah is with those who are patient” [An-Anfal: verse 46]

With this controlled and collected behavior Allah subhanahu wa taa’la will pour His assistance upon the believers, which will drive any negative emotion away.

Furthermore it is important to realize that remembrance of Allah throughout actions and words are excellent means to eliminate these negative emotions which occurs. Acts of goodness bring with them good, and remove evil. We should remember that sincerity in our actions are necessary and are only done with the intention of seeking Allah subhanahu wa taa’las pleasure and reward. And some of the reward which Allah subhanahu wa taa’la gives His servants are removal of negative emotions.

One of the things which might make us experience all different negative emotions is the constant attention and concern about the past and the future. Past events can neither be brought back nor rectified. Nor do we have any control of what the future brings. Therefore we should be concentrating our energy and attention to the moment. We should live to please Allah subhanahu wa taa’la only and be steadfast in our believe in the fact that only Allah subahanhu wa taa’la Knows what tomorrow brings and we should have the utmost sincere trust in Allah subhanahu wa taa’la.

In addition to this our pure and noble Prophet Muhammad (Peace and blessings of Allah subhanahu wa taa’la be upon him) delineated 2 categories:

1) Affairs which we have the ability to accomplish totally or partially. For this category we should exert our utmost, and seek the help and guidance of Allah subhanahu wa taa’la.

2) Affairs over which we have no power. For this, we should calm ourselves and surrender to Allah subhanahu wa taa’la with the awareness of the fact that Allah subhanahu wa taa’la has power over all things.

“And whoever puts his trust on Allah, sufficient is Allah for him” [Al-Talaq: verse 33]

While keeping the 2 categories in mind, it will be easier achieving happiness and keeping negative emotions away.

Additionally we should remember that our life is subservient to our thoughts. Engage your thoughts in useful matters which are useful to you and your iman, then your life will be good and you will be happy. Otherwise, the opposite will happen. We should also train ourselves to desire thanks and gratitude only to Allah subhanahu wa taa’la.

Remember Allah subhanahu wa taa’la loves those who rely on Him. May we all be among those who rely only on Allah subhanahu wa taa’la and may we be protected from all harm..
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I recommend reading a little book called “Useful Ways Of Leading A Happy Life” by Shaikh Abdurrahman Bin Nasir Al-Si’idy. I read it just before writing this contribution to the subject. It’s very beneficial and it will only take about 30-40 minutes to read.